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Before I begin my clown tale, I'd like to tell everyone about the band Too Much Joy, who got sued by Bozo the clown for sampling him on their song "Clowns." The song has lines like "I have yet to meet a kid not scared to death of clowns/They can't walk and they don't talk they got painted on frowns." Their next album had the phrase "there's something wrong with this world when clowns got lawyers too." I highly recommend them to everyone.
So, now on with what I refer to everyone as "The Clown Dream." The dream starts out with me entering this room with white walls and no doors or windows, yet there's eerie shadows like from moonlight on the walls. In the room are a clown (think John Wayne Gacy, or Pennywise, or the Killer Klowns from Outer Space, you get the point) and a man wearing only a pair of jeans. The man is on his knees and his hands are tied behind his back and he's sweating and his breathing is all shaky and nervous. The clown looks at me with a big evil grin and pulls out a gun, cocks the hammer, puts it in the man's mouth, pulls the trigger and a spike comes shooting out the back of the man's head which unfurls with a little BANG! flag. End of dream.

-Kris Gallimore


What a relief to find out that there are others who hate clowns. I think my fear stems from a Twilight Zone episode that I saw at a friend's house in the fourth grade. You guessed it...the clown turned out to be a murderer. When I was a teacher, one of my classes got together to buy me an end-of-the course gift --- a three-foot hobo clown. I had to restrain myself from shuddering when I opened it. But the worst time was when I was about to marry my husband. Over dinner, a friend of his told us all about a wedding gift that he was getting us: "You see, it's a CLOWN (my skin started to crawl), but.... (it gets worse) it's a SAD clown (the worst kind in my book!). It's happy on the outside, but sad on the inside" (no duh). When the painting arrived, it was not only worse than I could possibly imagine (I twitch just thinking about it), it was enormous. I stuffed it in the far recesses of a closet and figured I'd have to haul it out if the guy ever came over for dinner. But then a miracle happened. When we moved from that apartment, it just HAPPENED to get lost. I can't IMAGINE how it got misplaced; all I know is that I have lived a mercilessly clown-free life since then.

-Chris from California


No... God... you don't understand.. I can't stand them... It started with seeing Poltergeist when I was about 5, and then when I saw IT and eventually read the book... and you ever see that stupid movie killer clowns from Outerspace... They scare me... I would cry at the circus.... God, it's a good homepage...but it scares me....too many pic's of Tim Curry as It.... I don't think I'll sleep well tonight...

-Dorsi


When I was in college, I took a public speaking course. One round of speeches were demonstration speeches, and one girl got up and demonstrated how to apply clown makeup. She advised not to use makeup around the eyes, because that scares little kids. She also advised not to fondle the children or kill their parents, because that scares them too.

-Tracey


(Clowns) scare the hell out of me. I have woken up in sweats after having nightmares about this one particular clown with huge purple lips... whoaaah, the thought of him makes me shiver

-K a t i e F o g a r t y W i r e d M a g a z i n e


I, too, have despised clowns all my life. I believe this has something to do with my annual trips to the Santa Claus breakfast. Every year while waiting for Santa to arrive, the kiddies would be entertained by Tickles the Clown. If Tickles so much as looked at me, I would try to crawl under the table.
In college I made the mistake of telling my roommate about my clown phobia. She felt this was something I needed to be cured of, so she would periodically cut out pictures of clowns from newspapers and magazines, and tape them to the bottom of her bunk so that when I crawled into bed at night, there would be a hideous clown staring down at me. Aaaack!!! The worst episode was the time that she decided it was time to rid me of my hangup once and for all, so one day while I was gone, she dressed up in clown makeup. I came back to our room, opened the door, screamed, and took off running. She proceeded to chase me up and down the halls of our dorm, outside the building, and all around campus until I was finally able to take refuge in a friend's room. Needless to say, this did not cure my "problem," but only made things worse.

Clowns are truly evil.

-Megan


I have always been afraid of clowns since I was a child. As an adult you don't run into them very much, so it hasn't been a crippling phobia.
However, when I was working for Sony Wonder (children's division of Sony) the people from Bozo the Clown came and did a presentation. I'm sitting at my desk, minding my own business when a 7' Bozo the Clown came waltzing into the office. I freaked and had to go hide in the bathroom.
"Killer Klowns From Outer Space" says it all.

-Morgan Kennedy


It (excuse the unfortunate clown-related pronoun) is good to know that I am not alone in my hatred of clowns! Ever since I saw the Poltergeist movie where the clown doll crawls out from under the bed and attacks the little boy, I have been very doubting of all things that cram themselves in cars and wear big red noses. I even have a hard time trusting people with large feet or poofy hair! I was a small child when I saw this movie, so I was deeply affected. My grandmother used to keep what I KNEW was an exact replica of that clown on the bed that I always slept in at her house. For as far back as I remember, the first thing I do when I get to her house is to stick that evil thing in the closet. I am nearly 19 years old and I still do it! I cannot stand the thought of that thing looking at me! I know that if I allow it to stay in the room with me, that as soon as I fall asleep it will attack and do all sorts of wickedly funny things. When I was 12, I watched It in school for some reason. I was so freaked. I swear I will never be able to take my kids to a circus without getting all nervous and stressed. My hands are sweating right now because I am thinking about the demonic beings!! If you ever hear about a support group being formed for the unfortunate people like myself that are cursed with clownaphobia, please contact me. I know that if we join together, we can defeat the diabolic jesters! We can overcome our fears if we just unite our strengths and focus on the goal.

Sincerely,
-Ellen


I think it's hilarious that you hate clowns as much as I do and as much as my best friend/colleague does. My friend, Jonna, is absolutely frightened of them (she's 27). I don't like clowns and never have. I had to laugh when someone at work dressed as a clown for Halloween and Jonna just groaned when she saw him! She says they are evil incarnate and finds nothing funny about them... I tend to agree but never told anyone about how I felt until I met Jonna.. hahahhaa... now I know I'm not the only one!!

-Bree


...I have always thought clowns were very weird and the people that play clowns a strange lot. I can't believe that they think those clown outfits are funny.
I'm 50 ish and remember growing up thinking how could people think these weirdos are funny or even entertaining. I did watch Buffalo Bob and Clarabell and thought him creepy as well. Bozo was not funny in the least. I used to go to the circus in N E Ohio and thought the clowns in the little cars were disgusting.
And the people that collect the clown figurines and think those are somehow wonderful are just as creepy. And the Emmet Kelly thing I never got.
I sell real estate in Florida and I go in a lot of houses and see too many knick knack shelves full of clown figurines that are more creepy than the real thing. What happens to those figurines when the lights go out??

- Rich Katanich

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